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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Comfortably Numb

I’ve just returned from Chandigarh, which, by the way, is paradise. I have lived like a king for the past few days. I wish to stress upon the word past since I am back to the city of lawlessness ,malodorous water, forever mounting expenses, frequent power cuts … a city I shall call home till December.

I have just learnt that my project has been deleted, accidentally albeit, in my absence. This, in essence, implies that whatever little I had done in the past three months has been eroded away for good. I must, now, restart from the very beginning and hope to complete at least two out of the initial three projects I had planned. I doubt, though, if I shall be able to manage to complete even one.

I have been reading voraciously lately and I find myself much the better for it. It allows me to spend time with myself and my thoughts. There’s probably nothing I’d want more. Whether this is an overstatement or not is unknown to me.

I’ve had time to review my life lately as well. Somehow, I’m glad I’ve done what I’ve done. Only I know what I’m talking about so don’t bother exercising your grey matter here. I cannot guarantee the outcome for that was and always will be something beyond me. I’m not exactly elated at the way things have shaped up but given the circumstances and the fact that I am one of the parties to the incident I shall accept what’s been thrown my way.

Everybody needs a break. That includes me as well. I’ve been waiting … for so long now.

Sometimes pain crosses the barriers that the human mind sets for it. It blurs what man terms The Comfort Zone. It steals away hope and implants fear in its place.

Am I trapped inside of me?

It is at times like these when the journey of life feels like walking on the razor’s edge.
I think it’s time to go to hug a pillow. I could use the false sense of security.

You had a choice.
I never even knew one existed here.
If only you could see things my way.
Just once.
If only you had tried.
If only …

Would you undo anything,
If you could see my plight?
This world shall sleep peacefully,


But I’ll burn to ashes tonight …

Goodnight
A.G

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